SCENE 1: INT. THE GREASY SPOON CAFE - DAY

[FX: GREASY SPOON AMBIENCE. HISSING GAGGIA STEAM WAND, SPATTERING BACON ON A STEEL HOTPLATE, CLINKING THICK-RIMMED MUGS, MUFFLED RING-ROAD TRAFFIC OUTSIDE.]

BOB: Right, there’s a proper debate to be had here, Joe.

JOE: Go on then, what is it now?

BOB: This heat don’t last for ever.

JOE: (sighing heavily) It’s the Second Law. You can’t fight entropy in a cafe that hasn’t changed its tablecloths since the 1975 general election.

BOB: Pass the sugar, Joe, and spare me the quantum thermodynamics before eleven in the morning.

[FX: Metal spoon clinking twice against a chipped ceramic mug.]

JOE: You started it.

BOB: I was just stating a fact, mate. I don’t like it when me tea gets cold.

JOE: Well, that’s what happens, you daft git.

BOB: Oi! Watch it!

JOE: (SIGHING HEAVILY) I’m serious! Heat flows spontaneously from a hotter body to a colder body. Look at this tea. Five minutes ago it was boiling. Now? It’s room temperature. The universe is winding down, right here on Table Four.

BRENDA: (calling from behind the counter) If you two are going to lecture the universe, do it over another slice of fruitcake. That slice has been on display since Tuesday.

JOE: (dryly) Speaking of entropy.

---

SCENE 2: INT. THE GREASY SPOON CAFE - CONTINUOUS

[FX: A sudden loud THUMP as Brenda slams the wooden frying basket onto the counter.]

JOE: Brenda, does your tea follow the laws of physics or just local council health inspection guidelines?

BRENDA: My tea follows two rules: fifty pence a mug, and don’t ask what’s in the urn.

BOB: (enthusiastic) Ah, I think I get it now! The urn is a closed system undergoing irreversible thermodynamic expansion.

JOE: (sarcastically) Right, that’s yer lot. Physics lesson’s over.

BRENDA: It’s just limescale.

JOE: (wrinkles nose) Smells like it.

BOB: (chuckles)

JOE: (sighing heavily) That’s just the price of admission to the universe, Bob.

[FX: Steam valve whistling violently, then coughing to a sudden stop.]

JOE: (WRYLY) Or… the end of time.

[FX: FADE OUT]