—Alright, Joe?
—Alright, Bob. ’Ow ya doing?
—Sound, mate. Sound. Yeah. Proper job. I’ll get you a brew.
—Nice one, I’m gagging.
…
—Right mate, ’ear ya go.
—Ta, now, tell me again why we are ’ere, Bob?
—Well, you know that Andy fella?
—Yeah the one who knows your Marg?
—Aye, that’s him. Well, he’s got this new fangled thing. Says he wants to write stuff down. Us lot. And our brekkie. And the customers. Dunno much about it.
—And what for, again?
—For a thing on that there Internet called a blog.
—A wha’?
—A blog.
—Right. And what’s that when it’s at home?
—Dunno really. Some kind of newfangled picture thingy.
—And people look at it, do they?
—Aye. Thousands of ’em I s’pose.
—Or it might be thousands, if it gets popular, like.
—Right. And ’ow does that help us, again?
—Well, I was thinking, like, if people reading this fella’s blog fancies a brekkie, and they do, then they might come down ’ere, and try it out for themselves, like.
—Right. And he’s relying on us two, is he?
—Well, there’s only the two of us , Joe.
—Crikey, it’s a lot of pressure like.
—And you ’ave to talk to him, don’t ya? While ’e’s doing his business?
—Nah, he gave me this app on me iPhone. Says it’ll send me words straight to his blog.
—Right. And ’ow do ya do that, then? ’Ave ya ’ad a cuppa yet, then?
—Yeah, I ’ad a cuppa on me way ’ere. That’s why I’m late.
—Right. Well, you’d better get on with it then.
—Yeah, yeah. I’m on it.
—’Ave ya ’ad a proper look at it, then? The app?
—I did. Andy said to just press the button when we are ready. And press it again when we are finished.
—Right. Sounds easy enough. Even for you.
—Oi! Bugger off.
—Right, anyway, I’m Joe Cooper. from Coventry, married to Aoife. And this is me mate, Bob Fletcher, married to Marge. And we come to this caff every day and chat shit about life, ’til Marg tells us off for being out too long.
—Nice one, Joe. It’s a right proper cafe this. Run by Brenda. Who makes the best bacon sarnies in the Midlands.
—True that, mate. Are we done?
—Aye, for this one.
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