The Greasy Spoon - 2nd April 2026

Bob and Joe discuss the Artemis II launch, well Joe does, Bob's not so keen

—Did yer watch it, Bob? 

—They’re not playing until Friday. 

—Not the Sky Blues, yer numpty. 

—What then? 

—The Artemis rocket launch for a jaunt around the moon. 

—Oh, right, that. 

—Did yer not watch it? 

—Nah. 

—How come? 

—Bloody hell, Joe, what are you? The rocket police? 

—It’s important for humankind, mate. 

—Is it, though? 

—Damn right. 

—Why? 

—Because we need to know what’s out there.

—We know already, yer numpty. 

—Eh? 

—Yeah, we do. The moon, some dust and shit and a few other planets bobbing about. 

—Not a fan of space an’ that are yer, Bob? 

—Nah, can’t be arsed. 

—So the fact that it’s the most powerful rocket NASA has ever built doesn’t excite you? 

—Will it ‘elp me kettle boil faster? Or stop me toaster from jamming? 

—I don’t even know what to say to that. 

—Drink yer brew and stop being like a little kid. 

—Mate, it’s important, trust me. The astronauts are travelling further from Earth than anyone ever has before—

—They’ve never been downwind from one of your farts.

—Fuck’s sake, he’s off with the farts again. Who’s being childish now? 

—I bet you remember the moon landing, don’t yer? 

—Ah, yeah, I do. July, 1969. 

—Right, so why aren’t yer excited about this one? 

—Well, fer a start, they ain’t landing on the moon, are they? 

—Er, no, they’re going right around it. 

—What for? That’s like going to the shop, walking around the building and coming home again with no tea bags or biscuits. 

—Bloody ‘ell, I give up. 

—Good man. Get the coffees in. Unless you are planning on going up, walking around and coming back again with no coffee. 

—Fuck off. 

—Two sugars in mine.