The Greasy Spoon - 20th March 2026

Bob and Joe discuss President Trump and the Japanese PM and choose a different sandwich

—Subtle as a flying brick. 

—Who? 

—The President. 

—Of the Working Men’s Club? 

—No, yer numpty. President Trump. 

—Oh aye. Why, wha’s he done now? 

—Well, ’ow’s this fer a lesson in diplomacy— 

—Yer know I ain’t got any certificates. 

—Wha? No. Shut the fuck up fer a minute, will yer? 

—I mean political diplomacy. The president. ’E were sittin’ with the Prime Minister o’ Japan. 

—Ah, righ’? 

—A member o’ the press asks ’im why he didn’t tell everyone what ’e were planning for Iran. 

—Righ’? 

—An’ the little Japanese PM’s sittin’ there. An’ he goes, “Why didn’t yer tell me about Pearl Harbour?” 

—Fuck me. Did He? 

—Yep. 

—Bugger. Tha’s brutal, innit? What did she do? 

—Nuthing. Sat there like she were sucking a lemon. 

—Fucking good one, tho’, righ’? What a laff. 

—Yep. 

—Sarnie? Brenda’s on today. 

—Yeah. Although… 

—Wha? 

—I’m gonna be radical. 

—Oh? Yer not gonna ask for low‑fat spread or some shit? 

—No. Me bollocks, I am. I’m gonna ’ave a sausage sarnie. 

—Oh, now there’s an idea. I’ll join yer. 

—Righ’, I’ll go an’ get ’em. 

—Great. If yer see anyone Japanese, don’t ask ’em about surprises. 

—Yeah, we’ll leave tha’ to President Trump.